Thursday, May 12, 2005

BuzzMachine ... by Jeff Jarvis

Big Mac tax

: Detroit is talking about taxing fast food.

What a nitwit idea.

First, what's fast? My Chinese restaurant is really fast but it doesn't sell burgers.

Second, poor people eat fast food. Let's tax them more. Poor people serve fast food. Let's eliminate a few of their jobs.

Third, this is a rather obnoxious means of trying to legislate lifestyle. I'm OK with taxing tobacco because the cost to society of its effects is substantial. Booze? Well, what the hell, that precedent is set. Gasoline? Yes, we need to find some way to reduce demand (though this isn't the way... but that's another argument).

But taxing my Taco Bell chicken grilled stufft burrito? Butt out, bozo.

This is taxation as punishment for something somebody doesn't approve of: Tax the smokers, the drinkers, the gas-guzzlers, the rich, the burger-snarfers.

What's next? Taxing violent games? Sexy movies? Condoms?

If we're really going to improve the quality of life via fiscal policy, I say let's tax checkered flannel shirts, polyester suits, car alarms that make 20 obnoxious sounds and never turn off, Dr. Phil, mullets, Britney Spears CDs, bare-midriff tops over size 6, Speedos in any size, magnetic ribbons on the backs of cars in any color, Starbucks orders of more than four words, pop-up ads, tofu, PowerPoint, and gum.

What else?

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